silence is golden

recently i came to a realization. i am one of those.

by "those" i mean one of those people who sometimes falls under the apprehension that a night spent at home is boring.

i'm uncomfortable with silence.

hence, sitting in a room without any distractions can be scary for me. i try to fill every silence with conversation. is this a personality trait of mine? or have i been culturally conditioned to hate quietness? i feel like my brain is constantly saying "must fill the silence! this silence is awkward! say something!" but must silence always be awkward? of course, there are instances where silence is extremely awkward. like elevators. but with friends, silence can be pleasant, without tension or discomfort.

i am a huge fan of period stories such as Pride and Prejudice or Cranford. the people in these stories seemed to live such rich lives that were built on moderation and restraint. relationships were strong and emotions ran deep. of course, they had plenty of forms of entertainment, such as dancing, music, and conversation. you'll notice, however, that there are evenings when an entire group of people sits in the same room, quietly working on a project, or painting a picture, or reading a book. in complete, utterly comfortable silence.


maybe this unease is just part of who i am. or maybe i have been conditioned to fear a quiet evening. either way, my goal for the next week is to sit comfortably in my own skin and enjoy the silence.

{i would like to point out that i had every intention of writing a post about the art of conversation, but silence came out instead. perhaps being comfortable with silence is the beginning of such an art.}